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SKIING THE ANTARCTIC PENINSULA PART 1
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GETTING INTO WINTER CLIMBING SHAPE WITH FA GUIDE CHAD PEELE
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CARSTENSZ PYRAMID THE HEROES PROJECT EXPEDITION IN THREE ACTS
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KYLE MILLER ON FIRST FILM PREMIERE AND TRANSITIONING FROM SKI BUM TO PRO ATHLETE
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BE FIRST RECIPIENT JON TURK RECAPS HIS EPIC, FIRST CIRCUMNAVIGATION OF ELLESMERE ISLAND
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TAHOE GUIDE MEETING DAY 2 THE GUIDE BUILT PROCESS
By Melissa Arnot:
I stretch out on the floor of the First Ascent dome tent, closing my eyes and watching the parade of my thoughts float by. Soon, my mind’s eye turns to summit day, the summit push. I can see Dave, Tshering, and most importantly I can see myself. I am climbing at a steady pace, breathing hard and covering my face from the cold. I can see that I do not have an oxygen mask protecting my face; I can see that I am doing well.
I try to visualize the summit, but it is just outside of my mind’s eye. I guess there are some things that you must truly experience before your mind will accept them, and then again, there are some things that even your mind knows are uncertain.
This is my goal. It is deeply personal. I am here, climbing Everest for my third time, attempting to climb without supplemental oxygen. The friends and co-workers I am surrounded by are people I know well. They are almost all here to work, guiding clients to the summit at a reasonable pace and with safety in mind. Few of them are pushing their personal limits here. At times ,I feel that this is a theater stage. I step onto the stage and let the audience look on. It feels intimidating in a way I cannot articulate. These are my friends, I remind myself. I can see that the critical eye is coming mostly from myself, my own fear of failure, but more acutely, public failure.
So many people journey here to Mt. Everest, thinking that the summit will change them, add to them. I have stood on top twice. The only spectacular thing up there is the view; the things that matter lie far beneath. I know that the summit won’t change me and I don’t want it to. I want to pursue personal challenge. I want to see the limits of what is possible and look those limits in the face. I realize that may never occur on this journey. I want to push ahead anyway.
The most difficult part of this process is the grandness of the stage. Not in the sense of people looking in on me (though if I said I didn’t care about that, it wouldn’t be true), but in the sense of the way I look in on myself. I am constantly evaluating myself, asking if what I am doing right now is good enough. The thing that I have learned most on this journey is how to be kind to myself. I have to consciously take a moment to tell myself that I am doing well enough; it is not a comparison, it is an evaluation. I have to thank myself for being strong enough to get where I am going today, and strong enough to consider going again tomorrow. I have to remember that I am being smart, and I will continue to do that. I am calmed by all of these thoughts. Someone asked me yesterday what I was here to prove. I looked inward, reflecting that I am here to prove that I don’t have anything to prove. This is an internal journey, though the results will weigh on me whether I want them to or not.
I breathe deep now. I remember that with great risk comes great reward. The most risky thing I am doing here is putting myself out there for the world to judge. As I hear ice crumbling off a cliff in the distance, I smile. If judgment is the most serious obstacle I face on this journey, I think I will succeed.
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Comments 
Oh yes you will! Godspeed and remember to enjoy this journey most of all.
You CAN DO IT Melissa!!!!!!
Rock and Roll!
Good luck for this internal journey. This challenge is yours, don’t put more pressure on yourself by thinking too much about what others may think. And keep in mind Ed’s famous expression: making it to the top (with or without oxygen bottle) is optional, making it back safely is mandatory!
We all know you can do it!
Go Melissa Go you can do it i believe !!
Take Care and return safety from the mountain
good luck!
We all are with you to support your climb!
Safe climb !
Melissa, continue on with our support back home! Oh, and say ‘Hi’ to Janet for me. ;-}
Jay
Sounds as if you have reached the apex of self awareness and humility Melissa. No more impressive goal than that. Congratulations and safe travels.
Melissa, You Rock Sister!!!!!! You can do it!!!!!! At Whistler you impressed us all and we are cheering for you here in Colorado.
Melissa, your blog is very truthful and humble. Few people have the courage to dream their big dreams and then live them. What matters is to go for it, at peace within, knowing we are following our dream. That is the true success of the challenge regardless of summit. The process to get there and the fact that we know that we give it our best is what counts. Have a great summit push and be at peace for knowing you are truly living your dream!
Melissa, you are a wise woman. Test yourself and prove what is good, what is honorable and what is just. We are cheering you on each day! Climb safe, climb hard, and climb well!
i’m cheering you on as well!
Good luck to you!